Post-It Notes Are Dirty!
November 23rd, 2009 | By Ryan
Post-It Notes Are Dirty!
There’s nothing more precious on this Earth than Post-it Notes. I don’t know where I’d be in my life without them, probably just really good at tearing paper. And I’m talking about cardboard paper here, not that pussy ass shit in your notebooks. Luckily, Post-its came out with the revolutionary technology of “sticky”.
They were there when I asked my girlfriend to marry me. They were there when my father died. They have delivered some of the most important information in my life, except for the time someone threw one away thinking it was trash. Sarah, I’m still sorry that you had to wait 3 hours outside your work, but it my defense I had know way of knowing you would be mugged. Maybe send a text or something next time, right? I still remember the expression on your face, those tears, you have to admit it was a little funny.
I don’t know who invented post-its, nor do I fucking care, but I’m sure it was a great man with a large penis who banged lots of chicks. That’s the way I imagine the inventor of Post-its, a porn star. Because I’m sure you have lots of uses for post-its in porn. Little notes to remind you to blow your load on her face or remember to switch from this hole to that hole. You know stuff you might forget in the heat of the moment. They probably were originally called Porn Notes, but after a messy scene the writing became a little smudged. I think that’s how Pop Tarts were named. I think there were supposed to be two O’s.
This whole post was originally written on a Post-it I found in the women’s restroom. Pretty cool, huh? Why was I in there? Research. Research-ish. Ok, I was stalking someone.
