Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
January 15th, 2010 | By Ryan
Does The Carpet Match The Drapes?
Does the carpet match the drapes? It’s the kind of question that will ALWAYS grab the attention of that girl you’ve been quietly stalking across the room. Sure, she noticed you and thought you were quite cute, but she had no idea you knew anything about decorating a home. Most guys don’t even know what drapes are, let alone be interested in what color she hangs from her fireplace.
Approaching her, you see that you may have caught her a smidge off guard, but coming directly from behind with a powerful bear hug is often the gentleman’s choice. The line between complete joy and complete terror can be very thin. To be honest, the screaming was too loud to really tell. A passionate woman knows what she wants and you could feel that passion in your arms as she ripped away from you’re grasp. Giving her a bashful, little grin, there’s a moment where everything in the world is perfect. Just the two of you, nothing else.
As you gaze into each other’s eyes you utter those six special words, “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
She suddenly becomes twice as beautiful as she replies, “What the fuck did you say to me?” As if to say…of course.
Bewildered, undoubtedly struck by the idea of an interior designer that wasn’t gay, the curious, little cat asks you why you’re still here; as if she couldn’t believe she’s been able to keep such a prize standing in front of her for so long. Your keen senses make it easy to tell she’s a bit of a lonely duck. The wedding ring on her finger is a dead giveaway. Her attempts to fool others into thinking she has a husband hasn’t worked on you. You’re onto this charade and make it your personal mission to save this orphan of love.
Her nervous eyes and shaking hands clenched tightly to her purse tell you one thing: she’s interested. Not wanting to appear too eager, she plays very coy hiding behind two or three of her male friends. Aw, the game of love is a strange one. Strange enough to think at points she may have found someone better, someone with a gun telling you to back away.
Like Romeo and Juliet, the powers-that-be separate our love. Whether it’s invisible shackles placed upon us by our families or actual handcuffs provided by a law enforcement officer, the story is always the same.
